At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize