With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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