You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
