Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
