he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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