I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
