batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
