NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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