Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
