Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
