Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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