Kiss
Puke
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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