I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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