in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize