dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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