Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
