I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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