white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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