just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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