We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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