Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
