I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
