I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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