glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
