her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They took my balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
