If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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