dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
