yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
