The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
