im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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