I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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