They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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