Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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