anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
