Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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