I skipped work to stalk him.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
