Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
