I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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