Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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