i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
