She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
