Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
