i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
