i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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