You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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