The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
