I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
