Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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