He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
