carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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