Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
