Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
