I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
