I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
