piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
