just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
