i think i have herpe
just one?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
