is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
