It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
