you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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