the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
